The Cinnamon Toast Philosophy: My Grandmother's Extraordinary Approach to Ordinary Life

TUP EP 108 v2

Aransas Savas: [: 00:00:00

But today's episode is extra. Extra. It's a tribute to the woman who first taught me what it means [00:00:45] to be an uplifter. My own dear sweet grandma, Rosemary Baker, who? I passed away at the age of 95. For those of you who [00:01:00] have followed me on social media or listened to this podcast, you've definitely heard me talk about her.

more than I do. The pride in [: 00:01:15

Your words. And these last two weeks have [00:01:45] convinced me more than ever that that's true. I think she's gonna live forever because her story and her life and her way of living get to be shared [00:02:00] and felt and carried on and on and on. And so today I want you to hear her sweet voice and to learn a little bit more about how we.[00:02:15]

Embody that spirit.

Rosemary Barker: I'm Rosemary Baker.

Aransas Savas: What kind of person inspires you?

a couple of ants that really [: 00:02:30

Aransas Savas: My [00:02:45] grandma was born in 1929, just as the Great depression began. Her early life was really hard as the daughter of impoverished migrant farm workers. They [00:03:00] moved each season with the crops. She literally changed schools nine times in elementary school alone. Her family was constantly on the move. Forced to always be in a state of packing up, moving on, [00:03:15] making friends, leaving friends, always being the new girl.

immediately plant a garden, [: 00:03:30

It her. An adaptability and a resourcefulness and a creativity that informed every part of her life. It also showed her how to find inspiration [00:04:00] wherever she went. Observing her aunts who had stable homes and families became the vision and the inspiration for what she wanted in life early on.[00:04:15]

Were there qualities in them that inspired you? Just that they were

The children were just kinda [: 00:04:30

Children were raised different back then. [00:04:45] Mm-hmm. Times were so hard. It was all about making a living and would travel so much looking for jobs. And so when you find these aunts, city people that, uh, [00:05:00] um, raised their children properly, and I just found the life that I, I liked and I worked toward that.

In middle school, she met my [: 00:05:15

And then finally in 1949, they decided to marry and went on to have four children, just like grandma had always dreamed of. This quest for inspiration really went on [00:05:45] throughout her life. She used what she saw in others that she admired. To create a view of what was possible for her. I think we all get to do that and watching her life now, and I think that's why she was so special to so many of us because she [00:06:00] made us reimagine what was possible.

ork. And loving attention to [: 00:06:15

Rosemary Barker: I love to design houses, so [00:06:30] on the weekends I'd get the children up and get 'em all dressed, and we might. Make a picnic lunch and go looking for property. Mm-hmm. I love buying property and, and drawing house plans for it. [00:06:45] I built quite a few houses, designed

icas of the most elegant and [: 00:07:00

When they finally moved to town, her yard became a key focus. It started out as one and a half acres of just wooded. Mess but inspired by stories of the [00:07:15] Kennedy compound. She spent hundreds of hours replacing all of the inhospitable dry Texas Red Clay with store-bought lush. Soil. She began to [00:07:30] enclose the perimeter of our yard in berms, which were like these.

e covered in flowering trees [: 00:07:45

I remember one time she saw a photo of a French labyrinth a few months later wandered out into the garden [00:08:15] and voila, there were tiny. Perfectly manicured hedges tracing the outline of our vegetable garden that one could wander through. She carefully plotted homesteads for each of her [00:08:30] children on the property and placed a shimmering pole in the center of the yard for the shared area of the property.

e aspect of our lives became [: 00:08:45

I mean, it's cinnamon toast. How exciting can cinnamon toast be? I will tell you this, it's very exciting. Her trick was that you would use, of course, lots of butter because everything had to have lots of butter because that's what gave it that great [00:09:15] crispness and the perfect amount of sugar and cinnamon.

n toast was never soggy, but [: 00:09:30

[00:09:45] Seriously, there is no other way to do cinnamon toast. Anyway, I cooking forever, but like even our refrigerator was. It couldn't just be silver or white, like, you know, normal people's refrigerators. [00:10:00] Oh no. She wanted a cobalt blue refrigerator, so when her boys were teenagers, she sent them to the autobody shop to paint her refrigerator blue.

andma was extra, as my girls [: 00:10:15

I mean, that's certainly not how my kids were awoken, but this was [00:10:45] standard Rosemary Baker treatment and with all of this beauty around us, it's not to say that there weren't challenges, lots of things were hard, and frankly, she's the kind of girl who liked to do hard things.[00:11:00]

What do you think is the best way to deal with challenges?

Rosemary Barker: Just get in there and do it. I mean,

Aransas Savas: not run away from 'em.

Rosemary Barker: Mm-hmm.[: 00:11:15

Aransas Savas: That was her approach to everything in life. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, not once but [00:11:30] twice. Even that didn't slow her down. She had a mastectomy back in the eighties when that was probably even a more serious and disruptive surgery than it's today. And the doctors called the next day to ask [00:11:45] us if she'd been able to get outta bed yet.

And they were like, is she okay? Has she been able to get outta bed yet? And I had,

e's out. Just nothing slowed [: 00:12:00

Yeah, [00:12:30] her early life was hard and it was a matter of survival that didn't afford her much time to play and be a little girl. So the older she got, the more she allowed herself to finally be that playful little girl she was running [00:12:45] until 95. I have amazing videos, uh, of her running just six weeks before she passed, but she didn't start that until she was in her fifties.

e saw. A wall. Wall that was [: 00:13:00

The way she lived it, which was in constant spontaneous movement. [00:13:30] I mean, despite her Baptist upbringing, anytime she heard music playing, she was gonna be the first one to hop up and dance. But truly, her compassion matched her physical energy when she was battling cancer the second time. In the [00:13:45] dead of winter, she heard these kittens crying in her back.

tens. When she finally found [: 00:14:00

His lungs were caked with ash. He could barely whisper a breath or a cry. She brought that little kitten in. She cleared its lungs. She fed it with a dropper every [00:14:30] hour, and she nursed it back to health. She healed herself through caring for another. Certainly that was our relationship. I was kind of a mess when I got to her.

My entire life was [: 00:14:45

She loved [00:15:15] black pepper and Cheetos and root beer, and always told us that when you got that little sinking feeling in the end of the day, the best way to manage it was with a handful of Cheetos. Pro tip. Um, she [00:15:30] left Johnny Mathis and which played in her home four.

of her eyes and covered her [: 00:15:45

I mean, seriously start to look, you will be amazed at how many different shades of white there are. I'm not talking off white. I'm talking white. White comes in many [00:16:15] flavors Anyway. She, she hated going anywhere. She'd already been, she showers unless it an outdoor and then it an adventure. Um, she hated curse words.

fact, when her children were [: 00:16:30

So my grandmother heard the story of Mrs. Duckworth, who when she grew older, developed dementia. And started repeating all the words she'd heard Adele say Over the years, my [00:17:00] grandma's biggest fear became that someday she too would get dementia and start saying all the words her boys had said in front of her over the years.

ndma did. Eventually develop [: 00:17:15

She screamed out you [00:17:45] damn kids. She got in the car and she ran away from home, but only long enough to circle the block. It's only a few seconds, but it was long enough to make all [00:18:00] her children realize that they never wanted her to. We all keep waiting for her to come back around the block now, but this time she's gone for good.

Now she gets to live [: 00:18:15

Pushing boundaries and constantly looking for new adventures. In a world where youth is often prized above all else, [00:18:45] grandma proved to us that the later chapters of life can be the most vibrant. So what can we learn from my precious grandmother's 95 remarkable years? My [00:19:00] friends. First, she showed us the power of continuous creativity.

to diminish with age. It can [: 00:19:15

Wasn't just a quirky saying, it was a [00:19:30] way of living. If we move, we can move. So whether it was jogging at dawn or climbing trees or doing the splits at 90, she proved that our bodies are designed to stay in motion. There [00:19:45] have been studies actually that show that in cultures where people pray regularly by standing up and kneeling down, they have greater longevity and physical vitality.

hat we were seeing with her. [: 00:20:00

So rather than wasting time comparing ourselves, what if [00:20:30] we looked at what inspires us? What if we looked at what energizes us? What if we were honest with ourselves about what really excites us? And it allowed ourselves to work [00:20:45] really hard to go after it. What if we found a life that we.

showed us how to be playful. [: 00:21:00

What if the reason that happens is because we believe that's what happens? What if instead, we believed that we had to play our way into old age, and no matter what [00:21:30] changes happen to our bodies, we could adapt our sense of play to match our physical abilities. Fifth, grandma taught us the restorative power of nurturing others.

You've heard this in [: 00:21:45

It's okay to have strong opinions. It's okay to have likes and dislikes and to be [00:22:15] true to them. And maybe it's more than, okay, maybe it's a secret to living and aging well, in her final years, I regularly ask her if she had any regrets or if there was anything she still wanted to do. [00:22:30] And she always said that the one thing she hadn't done.

pt a book of tree houses for [: 00:22:45

To the next tree to climb, the next garden to plant. The next dance to dance. I'm so proud of you, so proud of you. Mutual pride and admiration. Were at the heart [00:23:15] of our relationship. Living and aging well are not a solo journey, my friends. It's something we're gonna do in community. Let's do that for each other.

ossible, not with the spirit [: 00:23:30

Thank you for listening to the Uplifters podcast. If you're getting a boost from these episodes. [00:24:00] Please share them with the uplifters in your life and then join us in conversation over@theuplifterspodcast.com. Head over to Spotify, apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. And [00:24:15] like, follow and rate our show.

It'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one of these beautiful stories. Mmm.

Music: Big love painted [: 00:24:30

With that, all hindsight, bring the sun to twilight. Lift you up. Whoa. Lift you up.[00:25:00]

Lift you up. Whoa, lift you up.

Lift you up.[: 00:25:15

Lift you.

Lift you up.

Lift you up.[: 00:25:30

Beautiful. I cried. That little thing you did with your voice, right? In the pre-course, right? Uhhuh. I was like, mommy, [00:25:45] mommy, stop crying. You're serving the peace.