Deshi Singh and The Chamber of Mothers

TUP EP 124

Aransas Savas: [: 00:00:00

A national nonprofit that's uniting [00:00:30] moms as advocates for the America we wanna live in and leave for future generations. What started as a social media experiment around federally protected paid leave has grown into [00:00:45] something truly remarkable. There are now 45 chapters across 30 plus states that are working to create real policy change around paid leave accessible childcare.

nal health outcomes. In this [: 00:01:00

Whether you're a mom feeling isolated, someone wondering how to channel your passion into purpose, or [00:01:30] just curious about what real grassroots change looks like in action, this conversation is gonna give you such a rush and get you inspired to act. Let's dive in. Dehi, I'm just so happy to be here with you today.

As we kick things [: 00:01:45

Deshi: Absolutely. Thank you so much for asking and I'm so excited to be chatting with you today. Chamber of Mothers is a [00:02:00] national nonprofit, uniting Moms as advocates for Better America, one that we wanna live in today that supports moms and families, and one that we wanna bestow upon future generations. And we all came together back in the [00:02:15] fall of 21 when federally protected paid leave was about to be cut from the build back.

I don't know about you, but. [: 00:02:30

Our original co-founders were tapped to basically let the [00:03:00] quote unquote, and I say that truly everyday Americans all across the US understand what was on the line when it came to federally protected paid leave. You know, we were called in pretty late in the game and we created [00:03:15] this social media moment saying, you know, we're not gonna build back bleeding and tell us your stories, you know, what was it like?

d leave and the, the stories [: 00:03:30

Most women go back to work two weeks after giving birth. We heard stories about women bleeding through their pants at a, you know, picking and packing facility and [00:04:00] just really understanding and humanizing all of these decisions being made for us and, and what does it mean. And so Chamber of Mothers was born.

forward to today. And we are [: 00:04:15

[00:04:45] Federally protected, paid leave, accessible, affordable childcare to all moms and families across the country, and certainly improve maternal health outcomes. Moms should not be dying in childbirth, especially when it's preventable, and we have [00:05:00] chapters all across the us. So we have 43 chapters or 45 chapters.

te virtual military chapter, [: 00:05:15

Grassroots of on the ground that have reached out, that wanna create change in their communities. We work with brands to shift the narrative about what it means to be a mom in this country, and we also are in DC we're [00:05:45] establishing relationships with elected officials on both sides of the aisle. As you know, maternal health is not political, right?

ly becoming is similar to an [: 00:06:00

Understand that these are topics that need to be talked about and brought up and just that's what we're doing. We're gonna keep talking about it.

the population that has been [: 00:06:30

And yet, as women, as mothers, we have such a tendency to prioritize everyone else. [00:06:45] And there is this. Group of mothers who said, no, moms, let's look out for each other so that we can be well just as ourselves, for ourselves, but also for our children, our families, our communities.

Deshi: This really is about everybody, right?

[: 00:07:00

It's not a, let me elbow you out so we get space, which unfortunately I think has happened a lot. With any [00:07:30] organization, right? Mm-hmm. Money is limited, attention is limited. Time is, but this is just this moment of pure celebration and support and wanting to lift you up in the, in the hard moments and in the wonderful moments, and let's [00:07:45] tell each other's stories.

Let's, let's make this about all of us, right? And I, I think that that is truly the power. Of,

wn and normalizing that this [: 00:08:00

And there is something so powerful in showing progress because women and [00:08:15] maybe especially mothers, again, have this tendency to tolerate. And to accept what is, as, what is, and to just cobble together our resources. Handle it. And so [00:08:30] we live. I feel like in a time of defeat, there is this pervasive feeling of, well, is change possible?

ooked at the role of hope in [: 00:08:45

No, but I actually, what we need is hope. And so when I listen to what you're doing, I notice I'm filled with hope.

information is so incredibly [: 00:09:15

Mm. So it's, it's being able to come together and it's not just a bunch of ladies gabbing over whatever it is, but [00:09:30] it's set up and fired up. Like, okay, now we're upset. We have all of these emotions. What we do. Right. Not taking

if they get you to fired up.[: 00:09:45

Yeah. But I guess fed up and numbed out is the opposite of what we want. We want fired up.

eate a community action plan [: 00:10:00

And is this really about us or is this something bigger and what can we do? [00:10:15] And hey, our elected officials are supposed to represent us. I think about our elected officials, and it feels so far or so far away. It's always coming back to the fact that no, no, no, no. They, they're there. [00:10:30] Yeah. To help us and to represent us and to support, support us, but moms, especially in our every day, and it, it breaks my heart to hear you say that, but I, I agree with you is that there, there has been for a long time a sense of hopelessness and every, the world feels so heavy [00:10:45] regardless of, of who you are and where you are.

r. And I think that's really [: 00:11:00

Mm-hmm. And being able to find. Of support or engagement for whatever type of advocate you [00:11:15] might be or whatever type of setup and up you might be. So if it's even just recognizing that for yourself, that's one thing, right? If it's maybe being able to have a conversation at the dinner table or bringing it up to your friend over a cup of [00:11:30] coffee and seeing what they think, like, that's amazing as well, right?

This is all about just starting to. Normalize and encourage the conversation.

sengaging, and that's really [: 00:11:45

What you're doing here is you're finding pathways for people to engage. Did you always know Dashie, that you were an activist and an advocate?

s really just about, this is [: 00:12:15

But I finally stepped into my true north. And my true north is to support women and [00:12:30] girls globally and here in this country. And I know in my heart of hearts that when women are held up and made whole and recognized and included in conversations and truly [00:12:45] respected for the value that we bring both to the family as well as the economy, the world will be a much, much better.

Yes,

North, what does that phrase [: 00:13:00

Deshi: That's a good question. So I'm, I'm gonna give you a little bit of background and then I will get to true North. So I am very fortunate in that I am a daughter of immigrants. I'm the youngest of three kids.

I was born in this [: 00:13:15

So when I was growing up, I saw firsthand what it meant to invest in a girl, to give her access, to encourage her education, to give her a voice. [00:13:45] Go away for college to encourage that. Right. And I also saw what it was like for my cousins and family that lived in India, even just women and girls on the ground in India, and how women were supposed to be not [00:14:00] heard within the home and outside of the home.

m and I was like, Hey, wait, [: 00:14:15

And my brother didn't. And again, my parents were amazing, so I don't fault them at all. But I also just noticed more broadly in the community, there's a difference between how men and women are [00:14:30] treated. And so I've always, always, always been an outspoken. Advocate for women and girls just generally ever since I was a kid.

ergraduate degree and I very [: 00:14:45

And so that was really my first foray into a bit more formal voice, but I still wasn't sure, right? Like I didn't know if that was the right thing. I didn't know if it would be judged. I didn't know what my community would think. I didn't know what my parents would think. And then I [00:15:15] got married, a wonderful man.

I was pregnant and you would [: 00:15:30

It was like my eyes opened for the first time on the world. And humanity. Fast forward, I had my second. I suffered [00:15:45] postpartum depression for a long time and had a very hard time making my way through it. But then when I came out of it, and honestly it was part of this work. That brought me outta it and really formalizing my interest in supporting women and girls [00:16:00] globally and just realizing that it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

ings that matter to them. If [: 00:16:15

A little bit of time right now where I can focus on this with 110% of [00:16:30] my energy. Mm-hmm. And also I have three boys, and that is the biggest blessing I have ever had in my entire life. My boys are amazing and they are on this journey with me and my husband is the first one to [00:16:45] talk about what I do and to share the email that went out about the Mother's United tour to our whole family and extended relative saying, I'm so proud of Dehi.

heck it out. So yeah, I love [: 00:17:00

Aransas Savas: And it's so interesting to me the way you described this, because I talk a lot on show and in. How as women, we understand that if we wanna do big, brave things, we probably have to raise, raise some financial capital to do that.

But what [: 00:17:15

And I'm just gonna recap some of the ones that you mentioned because I think they are so relevant for so many of us on our own journey. So part of it was asking [00:17:45] yourself, is this the right. Thing, right? And so we debate and we end up exhausting ourselves through the inaction of indecision. And then we say like, oh no.

my community think? What do [: 00:18:00

Is it selfish? For me to have other passions or should I, as a good mom, a good worker, a good wife, stop there and say, I'm gonna invest in [00:18:30] my, my relationship. I'm gonna invest in my career, and I'm gonna invest in my children. And then maybe if there's some crumbs left, I'll go to the gym and punish myself a little.

Deshi: Yes,

t. It's so consistent in our [: 00:18:45

Deshi: Yeah. I'm energized. It gives [00:19:15] me the joy to wake up every morning and know that I'm building hope, not just for myself, but hopefully for others, that I'm working towards something that I really care about, that it doesn't matter what obstacles are in front of me. Even if I am a crumb [00:19:30] or you know, a piece of sand on some other bigger journey that is taking place, I'm still moving in a direction that matters

Aransas Savas: to me.

etes us, but I think we hear [: 00:19:45

We all want to be useful and impactful in positive ways. How did you decide this is where I'm needed and this is where I'll pour my time and energy [00:20:15] and love? Great question.

nes that one has created for [: 00:20:30

Open up in ways that we can't even imagine. That certainly happened for me. So I decided to retire from finance and really focus on [00:20:45] where we wanted to make an impact, where I wanted to make an impact. I always wanted to be entrepreneurial and decided to try and, you know, scratch that itch and get involved in a few different businesses.

an with a former CEO of the. [: 00:21:00

And what did that mean? And I wanna say that that was maybe one of the scariest things that I've ever done because I, who was I? I had no right starting a technology company and raising money from friends and family and trying to figure that out, and then ultimately [00:21:30] pitching it to the PCs. But thank God I did and how many lessons I learned along the way.

nt. It was this alignment of [: 00:21:45

And I never would have, had I not started to take those steps outside of the lines that I had created for myself in my mind,

that answer because what it [: 00:22:15

Yes, you're gonna learn every step of the [00:22:30] way 100%.

his past week and it was the [: 00:22:45

And then being involved in Chamber of Mothers. So, and just wanting to lean into the community and also, you know, public and private policy solutions. How do we think about this on a broader scale, not just here, but globally? How do we [00:23:15] introduce the forefront of technology helping solve some of these issues?

I mean, at this point, it's funny. I'm like, I'm a middle aged woman, but I can do anything.

you talk, like you've made a [: 00:23:30

I want to [00:23:45] become a part of Chamber of Mothers. I want to start this Fresh Foods brand. Once you have that idea, do you have a recipe or a pattern of what you do to validate it?

: Sure. So I also wanna just [: 00:24:00

Yeah, definitely one of these out of the box ideas. This is not my area of expertise, but to your [00:24:30] question, you know, I, I think it's really just tying these actions and these moments of, well, what if, what about this? What if we did this, or this could be a really interesting idea to alignment with my values uhhuh, [00:24:45] and knowing that it might not be perfect, whether it's starting this technology company or.

rs, mothers United tour, but [: 00:25:00

The support I've gotten from even inside of the community that they cheered me on when I got accepted that they were sending me notes of [00:25:30] encouragement while I was at orientation. I was like, this is, this is amazing, right? Yeah. And I want that community for all moms across the country, and I want them to know that we need to break down these false [00:25:45] divides that exist between us, motherhood, and mothers and families.

nd support and encourage and [: 00:26:00

Aransas Savas: Yeah. And we are so much stronger together. I'm so excited to visit the second stop of the Mothers United tour.

'm so excited that you'll be [: 00:26:15

Deshi: I am [00:26:30] most excited that when this idea first came up, it was really about realizing that we needed to lean into community, right.

to the fact that we have. In [: 00:26:45

We wanna have as many chapters in as many places as possible. And we [00:27:15] also wanna be able to show up for moms wherever they are in their journey. Mm. Whether it's pre, during the pregnancy post, and even when you're, your kids are grown and you're grandmother, you're still, it's always gonna be something that you are.

Right. So how [: 00:27:30

Aransas Savas: There's also mothering. Yes.

also mothering. Exactly. And [: 00:27:45

We have virtual town halls, you know, we're on social media. We have a newsletter. We meet up in certain [00:28:00] areas, but it's, it's hard in this distributed day and age to show up physically and this tour is about showing up physically. We are gonna have a bus that says Mothers United. Mm-hmm. Driving across the country as a billboard for all [00:28:15] moms.

And it's gonna say, you know, honk, if you love a mom, honk if you mom. It just, we wanna make it fun and celebratory. That is what I'm absolutely most excited about.

l what you're doing and, and [: 00:28:30

This is really focused on how our needs are the same and how we can unite [00:28:45] across political divides. Really come together and mutual support for the women in our community who often have a much greater influence on our wellbeing than the national stage. So really, really, [00:29:00] really excited. I just wanna

Deshi: lean into the power of uniting moms.

So by: 2028

But I think what, what is so important? For all of the people especially that are [00:29:45] listening to you and, and this podcast is to remember is that they are, you are, we are powerful. We are the ones that fuel our economy. We're the backbone of our economy and there's so much that happens over [00:30:00] there, but it's us.

d so almost, um, and I wanna [: 00:30:15

And the [00:30:30] workforce is not built to support mom.

Music: Mm-hmm.

e voice heard as one, right? [: 00:30:45

We're, and we're gonna get loud. Yeah. [00:31:00] So, American women control over 11 trillion in assets, and this number is expected to nearly triple by 2030 triple. So going back to the discretion earlier, I just [00:31:15] wanna remind us that wherever we fall on that spectrum, it doesn't matter. This is about all women, right?

appen as moms always have in [: 00:31:30

Aransas Savas: Amazing. I really appreciate that you and the entire Chamber of Mothers have been so dedicated to and creative in pursuit of opportunities for us [00:31:45] to connect and link arms and be a force of change.

So, I know you were surrounded by all sorts of amazing women all day, every day. Who would you like to nominate?

am very fortunate in that so [: 00:32:00

She is also the one that pulled me into the Board of Coalition Against Trafficking in Women and educated me on a topic that I did not know a whole lot about. I've [00:32:30] been on the board for two years now and is a hero and an advocate and somebody that, um, has truly made a big impact in my life. The second person that I would nominate is Lauren Bush Lauren.

She is [: 00:32:45

Celebrate. Celebrate and uplift and [00:33:15] create moments of joy and bringing people together. And honestly, she's very dust in a human. I have never met somebody that is so truly magical and with everything she does and everything she touches, she just, she brings [00:33:30] joy and light and connection to all people around her.

Women

he back of our minds, we are [: 00:33:45

We're not gonna like say they can't be there, [00:34:00] but letting them be there and then inviting ourselves to go in and try anyway. So as Uplifters, and this is very much to so much of what you've said, we love to uplift others. So how [00:34:15] can we as a community help you and the Chamber of Mothers and Mothers United and get involved in what you're doing?

d earlier, we're fully built [: 00:34:30

And Annie Bacon, who I mentioned before. We were just able to bring her on as a full-time employee and we worked really hard to be able to do that. And so you can go to our [00:35:00] website, chamber of mothers com and you'll see a donate button outside of that. We have started a free membership, and this is really about being able to keep you in the loop on what's happening to allow us to tell your story.

If [: 00:35:15

Me too.

out and what I know must be [: 00:35:45

Deshi: Thank you for having me. It's such an honor to be here.

ng to the Uplifters podcast. [: 00:36:15

Wherever you get your podcast and like follow and rate our show, it'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one of these beautiful stories.

Music: [: 00:36:45

With that all hindsight, bring the sun to twilight. Lift you up. Whoa.[00:37:15]

Lift you up.

Lift you up. Whoa. Lift you up.

[: 00:37:30

Lift you

lift.[: 00:37:45

Um, beautiful. I cried. It's that little thing you did with your voice, right? In the pre-course, right? Uhhuh. Uhhuh. I was like, [00:38:00] mommy, stop crying. Mommy.

Deshi: Stop crying. You're disturbing the peace.