A World Record Breaking Joggler Teaches Us How to Move Past Fear of Failure

Aransas Savas: [: 00:00:00

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off your first month [: 00:01:00

For every week we talk to a woman who shows us what's possible when we muster this [00:01:15] self-belief to really show up for the things that matter to us. This month, we're focusing on late bloomers. Today we're talking to Carly Sw, an unofficial world record holder for juggling. [00:01:30] Carly, when you shared your story with me, I was like, oh my gosh, this is serious, massive uplifter material.

. So we gotta like lead with [: 00:01:45

Karly: Yes. It's a real [00:02:00] word and I promise I didn't make it up.

oggers in the world who have [: 00:02:15

Aransas Savas: Amazing. Now you're not a full-time joer.

No. What do you do with the rest of your time?

hobbies I do enjoy. And then [: 00:02:30

Aransas Savas: You weren't always a jogger or a juggler or a jogger, were you?

in school, but as soon as I [: 00:02:45

In fact, when my husband and I were looking for a house, I said the only requirement was that I'd have stairs because that's gonna be my only form of exercise. And you get into your, your thirties and I'm like, I should probably exercise. [00:03:00] And at the time my work was very demanding. I didn't have a lot of free time, so going to classes at a gym didn't usually work out.

my lunch break during work. [: 00:03:15

And the person who taught me how to juggle said, well, why don't you try to combine the two and, and run while you juggle? Like, huh, okay, maybe. And, uh, I started giving it a [00:03:45] try, like by myself on very quiet streets where I wasn't gonna kill anybody, including myself. And after a year of practicing by myself, I realized I was really, really bad at it, and I wasn't getting anywhere.

ht, maybe I should learn how [: 00:04:00

Aransas Savas: Oh my gosh. I

Karly: love that you started

Aransas Savas: all

Karly: of this at once.

far that tried to learn both [: 00:04:30

Aransas Savas: When you started juggling specifically, what was it about it that you were like, huh, I might wanna do more of this?

years [: 00:04:45

And then they were just so warm and welcoming, and it was the first environment that I really had, that I felt safe to fail in. I didn't have that before, and just having all of a sudden a positive experience from failing it, just like [00:05:15] I, I just wanted more of that, so I kept showing up and kept coming back.

Aransas Savas: What was your relationship to failing before?

o it Perfect the first time. [: 00:05:30

Aransas Savas: Totally a reasonable expectation,

Karly: but

Aransas Savas: I think it's true for so many of us, right, that we think I might as well not try.

Right. If I can't do it perfectly right out the big gate.

gine, didn't work very well. [: 00:05:45

I, I struggled greatly to problem solve. I, I was afraid that if I clicked the wrong [00:06:00] button, something would blow up and be irreversible damage. And so I never explored things unless I felt very, very safe about it. And that really held me back from, from learning, from growing, from trying to evolve in any way, shape or form.

Aransas Savas: [: 00:06:15

Karly: Yeah. And just seeing also when things don't go wrong, like you can recover from that. You can change.

hrow me something brand new, [: 00:06:45

And sometimes I would catch it, sometimes I [00:07:00] wouldn't. But I'd be like, this is, I, I dunno what's going on. And then I started to learn how to react to things that I wasn't planning for, and that that was my big thing. That was my safety net. I need to plan for everything, and it taught me how to react to things that I [00:07:15] had not planned for.

Aransas Savas: Oh my gosh. And what does that mean now in other areas of your life?

e with things. I don't worry [: 00:07:30

I don't hold to that anymore.

ebody will toss me something [: 00:07:45

Karly: Yes. I'm able to connect the dots in my brain and follow [00:08:00] through a path much more quickly. I'm able to solve problems much more quickly.

unexpected. My, my brain did [: 00:08:15

You get this wavy band that expands over about the course of an hour and it, it feels like you're, you're, you're losing your bitch temporarily. It was very scary the first time it happened. I went to the, you know, the walk-in clinic. I'm like, what's going on? And they [00:08:45] said, you know, it's fine. It'll go away, but here's a Tylenol.

to just be pulled out of it [: 00:09:00

Aransas Savas: Wow. How extraordinary that you were able to see that for what it was, which was data about.

The [: 00:09:15

Karly: I sort of felt like I pretended to be an athlete, but I never pushed myself.

ould get close to the finish [: 00:09:45

Aransas Savas: I'm so glad you brought this up. [00:10:00] This has been such a focus of curiosity for me lately, both in my own life and my clients and in the guests that we hear from on this show. And I do think there is a bit of a dividing line in [00:10:15] terms of our level of courage and self-belief and willingness to do big hard things.

her book bravely talks about [: 00:10:30

Her and [00:10:45] founders I know who just do hard things all day. But it's scary, isn't it? Oh, it's incredibly scary. Yes. That's the biggest deterrent. Yeah. And it's like what might happen. And so [00:11:00] you talked about sort of the perfectionist side of it, but what did you worry would happen if you

Karly: weren't

Aransas Savas: good?

Karly: I guess it was a fear of rejection.

I'm not really sure. It was very irrational. I didn't, I didn't think through that part.

Aransas Savas: [: 00:11:15

Karly: right.

ou started to shift what you [: 00:11:30

Karly: Yes.

the other side and the world [: 00:11:45

Aransas Savas: And how has that impacted your personal [00:12:00] life, your professional life?

nce in my professional life, [: 00:12:15

And there was never something that I did like critically wrong, but I never rose to the occasion that in the way that I needed to before. And one thing that juggling [00:12:30] specifically taught me how to do was combat a built-in defense mechanism that I had used ever since I was very young. And that was when I felt stressed.

m the stress, and it was so. [: 00:12:45

And I didn't know how to control it because I never knew when it started. You know, sometimes people would see me with my eyes blazed over and they would tell me, and I would stop it earlier. I would come back to earlier than if it just [00:13:15] played out, but I still didn't know when it started. With Jo, whenever I would drop it would, because I started to feel stressed out and I zoned out and I started daydreaming and it was an instant.

irst time in my entire life, [: 00:13:30

Aransas Savas: Oh my gosh. And so does that not happen at work anymore?

d recognize it was happening [: 00:14:00

Aransas Savas: that's really cool. And it's like it raised your level of awareness, both of what the symptoms were and the effects.

rly: Right. And I've been at [: 00:14:15

Aransas Savas: it, it literally changed my life. Like when you [00:14:30] say that, what most strikes you about that sentence?

chalk. That was never on the [: 00:14:45

And I think that that's the message that keep an open mind and just realize that the answer you're looking for might not be what you're looking for you and you stumble across something even better.

And it also strikes me that [: 00:15:15

Then allowed that to take you down a road that was [00:15:30] totally unexpected. But I think in general, when we're in those circumstances, getting to a root need to be met and exploring, meeting that in different ways can be really powerful. And to say [00:15:45] what fits with my life, what sounds interesting and fun to me?

g through so loudly and your [: 00:16:00

Karly: No.

Aransas Savas: What was an athlete to you?

Karly: An athlete was someone who

Aransas Savas: won.

ht, and they got awarded for [: 00:16:15

Karly: Right.

Aransas Savas: Yeah. Same me either. Do you see yourself as an athlete now?

on of an athlete is changed. [: 00:16:30

Aransas Savas: I love that. And what does that mean for you now as a jogger?

Karly: It [: 00:16:45

Aransas Savas: Do you think of yourself as a late bloomer?

Karly: Yes. I think of myself as a late bloomer and trusting myself.

Aransas Savas: Say more about what it means to trust yourself.

yourself is everything. If, [: 00:17:15

Aransas Savas: Mm-hmm. [00:17:30] No, I think of it like this whole separate conversation going on in our minds. While the world is happening outside of us, and I have learned that for me, I can only process one [00:17:45] set of words at a time. Okay? So I can garden and listen to a podcast and know what's going on. I can't listen to music and a podcast simultaneously.

I can't [: 00:18:00

And so I feel like it becomes like an [00:18:30] incompatible circumstance. If we don't learn how to quiet those inner thoughts and just tune into what's happening in the moment, what helps you quiet, those doubting voices, the [00:18:45] distrustful voices, the ones that are questioning everything.

adblock that's preventing me [: 00:19:00

Just my fear. Fear or is the roadblock that I don't have enough information and am I, am I afraid to ask for that information that I'm missing? And if I'm too afraid to ask for it, what will happen? Am I just gonna get [00:19:15] stuck here and get more stressed? So, which, which is more stressful being vulnerable and asking for that information I need to move forward?

Or just sitting in this dark space stressing out about it.

hearing in that is like. The [: 00:19:30

What am I afraid of? What's contextually [00:19:45] is contributing to me thinking these thoughts as facts.

Is, is this a, a legitimate [: 00:20:00

You're gonna die from a dinosaur type of response to survive that is no longer applicable.

ht. Or even a five-year-old. [: 00:20:15

So really grounding yourself [00:20:30] and is this true right now? Is this true for me right now?

Karly: Yes.

Aransas Savas: That's very cool. And so you're challenging yourself on the regular now.

everything else. You have to [: 00:20:45

Aransas Savas: What have you found is required in order to keep you in a growth mindset with your juggling in life?

Karly: Just [: 00:21:00

I don't focus as much on the skill level. I mean, I will give myself goals every now and then that will push that skill level, but [00:21:30] the, the focus is just getting myself out of the house and just. Doing things. It's just the constant movement. Movement is very important for me. And one of the community tasks or [00:21:45] challenges I gave myself was sort of a, a scavenger hunt to find other runners.

minutes of my house. And I, [: 00:22:00

But I'd show up and I'd introduce myself and I'd go for [00:22:15] a run with them. And I found so many different parks. I got different tips. I learned so much more about running and just experiencing everything everybody had to offer. And it was just a fun way and it's a game. If I make it a game, I, I [00:22:30] will do it.

n on the outside walking in. [: 00:22:45

Are you more comfortable being the new person in general as a result of this challenge, [00:23:00]

ow up to X amount of groups, [: 00:23:15

So here we go again.

ike an authority probably in [: 00:23:30

Karly: Yes. I have an Excel spreadsheet with all the running groups I've ever been to. What day of the week they meet AM or pm, what type of run? Road track, boardwalk Trail.[00:23:45]

And then if I wake up early, if I wrap up things in the evening, I take out my spreadsheet, who's running right now, and I go out the door and I meet up with that group.

nd you can think of how many [: 00:24:00

What do I want? And then [00:24:15] to rather methodically start to build that for yourself. And I just think that for all of us, if we were to on the regular practice, asking ourselves the big Carly question, [00:24:30] what do I want more of? And how do I turn that idea into a set of actions? I honestly think like all our lives would be as changed as yours.

You've done that in your [: 00:24:45

Karly: The most recent big challenge that I gave myself was that unofficial world [00:25:00] record. So as of now, I'm the only woman known to have gone at least a mile, juggling four balls, and it was.

ally certain that I could do [: 00:25:15

I just decided, well, ready or not? Here I come and so I found a one mile race, and the new thing I did for this [00:25:45] is I asked for help. So I reached out to running groups and I asked somebody if they could stick with me during the race and essentially be my eyes. Because I was not as prepared for this because I was [00:26:00] not as good at four balls.

ask for help, and one of my [: 00:26:15

And I had given myself a goal of completing this race in [00:26:30] 20 minutes and with him by my side, and just me knowing like, well, I can't quit. He showed up for me. I have to show up for him. I completed the race in 15 minutes.

Aransas Savas: Amazing.

Karly: Amazing

Aransas Savas: on so many [: 00:26:45

Both through the accountability, the support, understanding what the challenge was. And [00:27:00] again, that's what we all have the potential to do, to say like, what actually is making this hard for me? And how can I enlist a little bit of support to make it a little bit easier if it, whether it's just showing up to do it or it's showing up with my whole self to do it, [00:27:15] or it's not tripping over my feet to do it.

rop the balls and. I watched [: 00:27:30

I'm gonna go work on my book proposal. It's a very different kind of hard. But there are little puzzles in there that I haven't sorted out the [00:28:00] answers to, and every part of me in the moment wants to go walk away and go grab a snack or maybe garden or go hang out with my kids and take them thrift shopping.

lly sound great and they are [: 00:28:15

Oh, so simple and oh, so powerful approach to [00:28:45] life because it truly is transformative, I think.

Karly: Yeah. Transformed my life.

Aransas Savas: What else do you want us to know?

Karly: That just because it's hard doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Aransas Savas: How do you decide

Karly: If I [: 00:29:00

And that that's how I go through life. Like if something sparks joy in me, I don't. Second, guess it. I go for it.

en along the way did we tell [: 00:29:30

And yet I think what you're saying is excitement [00:29:45] and a spark of joy is the value.

all around them and they're, [: 00:30:00

Aransas Savas: You.

Karly: Yeah. For you. Right, [: 00:30:15

Aransas Savas: That's a perfect ending. So as Uplifters, we love to support [00:30:30] and uplift others. How can we as a community help you with your goals right now?

Karly: Go out and find something you love to do that you're a little scared to do and go do it.

nity of people willing to do [: 00:30:45

Aransas Savas: I agree completely. I so look [00:31:00] forward to running with you again soon and to soaking up a little bit more of this Carly Magic.

Uplifters podcast. If you're [: 00:31:15

And like, follow and rate our show. It'll really help us connect with more uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one of these beautiful stories. Mmm.

Music: Big [: 00:31:45

A tree in springtime dance with ale. Hindsight. Bring the sun to twilight. Lift you up.

Whoa. [: 00:32:15

Lift you up.

Lift you up.

Lift [: 00:32:30

Lift you

lift.[: 00:32:45

Um, beautiful. I cried. It's that little thing you did with your voice, right? In the pre-course, right? Uh, Uhhuh. I was like, [00:33:00] mommy, stop quiet. Mommy. Stop crying. You're disturbing the peace.